Take it to the cushion

I sat zazen last night right before bed. It was the first time I've had a formal sitting period on the cushion since sitting that once at the B&B 10 days ago.

Since getting back from vacation, I've allowed myself to get pretty caught up in what I call the "mind of the world". It's got me all agitated and in a state of unease (dis-ease). I've felt myself getting short with those around me. Getting impatient and annoyed with my fellow commuters on my way to and from work. Impatient with my 5 year old daughter. I don't like it when I fall back into this state.

So, I took it all with me to the cushion last night. The echoes of the day's events were so strong in my heart and mind. As I settled into the silence, it seemed like they got even stronger (more a case that I was now aware of them, I think). I found it difficult for the first time in a long time to just sit with myself and all that was going on inside. I started to judge that (the fact that I was having difficulty), but then realized I need to put that down as well. Not very helpful to getting back to a place of equilibrium.

I'm realizing that I need to 'take it to the cushion' on a more regular basis than I have been.